Do you remember dreaming about what you wanted to be when you grew up?  Remember how we could so clearly visualize our dreams and imagine ourselves becoming amazing super-hero versions of our future selves? 

I always dreamed of becoming Wonder Woman. Or a ballerina. It depended on the day and who I happened to be playing with at the time, but the images of my self were so big and so bold.  I had no doubt whatsoever that I could BE Wonder Woman zooming around in my invisible jet.  As a ballerina, I could picture myself perfectly twirling across the stage under the lights in front of thousands of adoring people.  I could see the costumes, the colors and hear the applause.

I imagined fantastic scenarios, and I was the star in each one.

Leaving Childhood Fantasies Behind

Somewhere along the way, life happened. Childhood fantasies took a backseat to adolescence, school grades, boyfriends, college applications, jobs, marriage, children.  

Those dreams that were once so clear had wholly faded away behind worries of competition, acceptance, perfection, fear of failure, money, time, and responsibility for others. Suddenly, I was paying so much attention to what is, that I forget about what feels.  

When you realize that you had dreams once, but can’t figure out how to reconnect with that spark of lively childhood imagination, it’s pretty sobering. And worth investigating.

Is Your Left or Right Brain Leading the Way?

I’ve learned that, as women, we have a fantastic reservoir of emotional intelligence right at our beck and call. You’d think that would be obvious to me, being female and all, but it was something I had unconsciously been pushing back, electing instead to move through life with my methodical left brain leading the way. 

This was especially true of my physical surroundings. I had unknowingly crushed that creative voice, so I could not hear when she whispered to me. She would whisper that I truly loved that herringbone brick patio, not the more easy-care deck.  

While I was painting my living room a practical neutral color, my inner creative was yelling at me that blue would be so much more fun and dramatic. While my heart craved an old house with architectural detail, my hand was writing the check for the deposit on the new house in the tree-less subdivision. 

I woke up one day and realized I had created the perfectly acceptable social norm of middle-class life in America. And I hated it. 

It’s not that there is anything wrong with this lifestyle; it just wasn’t me. I had a lovely home, but I felt dead inside. Nothing around me spoke to me of home, certainly not the home I had always imagined myself living in. 

This is what happens when you stop listening to your inner wisdom - that innate gift that teaches us to add in the whimsical to balance out the practical. Instead, you simply must make it a point to honor your creative dreamer as well as the driven go-getter side.

Decorate Fearlessly

I’ve written over and over about the benefits of creating an intimate, supportive environment, one that enables you to shine, no matter what you have to face. And if you feel dead inside because of your surroundings, you’re certainly not going to function at your best.

So, give yourself permission to STOP when you make your next design decision and ask yourself which category you are trying to fulfill: your practical need or the childhood dream that is still alive and fighting to have a voice. Shoot for a good balance between the two, with a bit more of a lean into your imagination. Then, go for the dramatic blue paint!

If you need help, please reach out. I love to work personally with my clients to help them overcome the fear of decorating and help them get in touch with real dreams — ones that may or may not be buried — so that they can finally call their house HOME.

Yours,
Monique